Wet wet wet

I've recently started swimming again. I used to do a lot of swimming, but haven't done so much at all over the past few years, partly because of the old lungs, but it's also just slipped by the wayside. Anyway, for the past three weeks I've been at least three times each week and I've been really enjoying it. I love that feeling of gliding through the water and with every stroke having your troubles washed away. My mind empties. I focus on my stroke; the kick of my legs; the scoop of my hands through the water; the feel of my muscles working inside my body as they push through the water outside my body. I think briefly about the things that bother me, but for the most part my mind is concentrated on the number of the length that I'm currently swimming, and this is great for emptying the mind and being absorbed in the moment instead of being absorbed in troubles or difficulties.

As I said, I used to swim a lot (I swam for the city as a teenager, before my lungs got too bad and unpredictable), and because of this I tend to swim length after length after length when I go. Unfortunately I sometimes forget that I can't do what I was once able to, so I push myself beyond what I should, but then I'm also determined to make the most of what I can do when I can do it, which is probably why I continue to push myself despite knowing that I ought not to push too hard. Anyway, because of my previous swimming training, and because of this 'make the most of it' attitude and pushing myself, I only feel like I've done any swimming if I do at least half a mile (32 lengths in a standard pool). This is okay, and doesn't usually cause too many problems in the old breathing department. Quite often though I'll get to thinking that if I've done half a mile then I may as well do the rest of the mile. Fine, I used to do that no problem, and mostly I can still do this if my lungs are behaving themselves reasonably. For some reason though, in the past week I've started doing two miles at a time, which, if some of my friends read this and discover, is liable to get me slapped around the face with a wet fish! This really is pushing my luck, but if/when my lungs let me do this it feels really good. Sometimes when I'm in the water I just feel like I could go on forever - it takes me to a different state of mind ... almost meditative. Of course, sitting here in the evening after a two mile swim in the afternoon I certainly feel like I've done some exercise, and I may do in the morning as well, though I did two miles at the pool last Wednesday and Thursday too without feeling too stiff, so maybe I'll get fitter and I'll hardly notice that my muscles have been put through their paces. Don't get me wrong, I don't go off at a sprinting pace - I couldn't these days, though I did used to be able to (oh, how things change). No, I take it steadily and take as much time as I need. I blank out everyone around me, even when I'm aware of others pacing themselves against me, and I ignore the clock, which is helped by the fact that I don't wear my glasses in the pool and so can barely see that there is a clock, let alone what time it is ;oP

Having contacted the paragliding company several times about the possibility of doing a sponsored paraglide to raise money for my resp ward, and having not heard anything back from them at all, I'm getting a little disheartened. I'm wondering now if in the meantime I think about doing a swim marathon to raise money. The idea isn't to do the whole distance in one go (it'd take too long for starters), but over the course of a month, according to places that I've seen this kind of thing suggested before. To be honest, I could probably do it in two to two and a half weeks, but that would be pushing it so if I gave myself a month (or four weeks) that may be more realistic and would allow for a certain amount of lung-splattage. Obviously, if my lungs had a real strop and I ended up in hospital I'd have to put it on hold, or start again, but I'd work out a contingency plan for this situation. I haven't made any firm decisions yet - it's still in the idea-forming stage of things - but I so want to do something to raise money for my respiratory ward as they do so much for me, and have done for years. This seems like a reasonable idea, and perhaps wouldn't scare my friends, family and doctors quite so much as a paraglide ... though I still fully intend to do one when/if I eventually manage to get a response from AirVentures. In the meantime, and whilst I make up my mind about the swimming marathon, I'll consider myself to be in training ... or something.

Sleepless night

I don't feel so grand today. My lungs were rather grumpy last night so I didn't get any sleep. In the scheme of things I wasn't too bad in that I wasn't desperately short of breath, but I couldn't stop coughing and was wheezy enough to keep myself awake with the noise. I'm scarily good (if 'good' is the right word) these days at sleeping through a very tight chest, but usually if it comes on whilst I'm actually asleep. Getting to sleep when you can't breathe to begin with is a whole different matter, especially when the old lungs are making so much noise that they wake you up at the slightest hint of nodding off. Needless to say I'm tired today. Most annoyingly, and as is often the way with these things, things picked up as the dawn approached, but by this time I was too mentally stimulated to sleep so I got up around 6:30am and went for a drive to the coast. St. Mary's Lighthouse is always beautiful, and to get there just as the sun was breaking through the morning cloud, giving a warm, golden hue to the sun and the sea was gorgeous. Unfortunately I was a little late with my camera to catch the sunrise on digital film as the best of it had past during my drive, but it was still lovely. Given that I wasn't feeling that great and was tired, I didn't go for much of a wander, but I did take a few photos of the sea. In the OU course that I'm trying to catch up on I've (supposedly) been learning about exposure and the different elements that can be adjusted to get correct exposure in different lighting conditions or to gain different effects. This morning I had a little play with ISO settings, though largely experimented with shutter speed. I haven't had a chance yet to see what the results were, but I'm not expecting anything great as I really was experimenting. I'll have a look in a bit and see what I got.

Since getting back home around 9:30am (it took ages to get back because of the work/school traffic) I've had a little nap, which has taken the edge of the tiredness. My friend JW came round for a bit this afternoon, and it was nice to have a bit of company, but I'm exhausted now and fit only for sofa surfing. I'm sincerely hoping that my lungs let me sleep tonight.

On the paragliding front, I'm still waiting to hear back from AirVentures to see if they can help me.

Uneventful days

It's been a very uneventful couple of days, which is rather nice in its way as life can be too eventful sometimes.

I had news today that my cousin has had another baby, born by c-section two weeks ago. This is their fifth child, but number four only lived eleven hours, which was heart-breaking, so I'm sure this latest addition to the family will be so very loved. It's wonderful to hear that both Mum and baby are doing well and that all are happy :o) I also heard today that one of my friends is pregnant or, as she put it, 'busy making a human being that'll be ready next May.' So today's been a day of baby news, and very lovely baby news too :o)

This evening I've sent an email to Air Ventures, which is a paragliding and hang gliding company in the Lake District. I've asked them for info and to find out if they can help me with my 'crazy idea', though that's not how I phrased it to them, because I can't imagine they think it's crazy at all ;o) Anyway, I'll have to wait to hear back from them, but I'm hoping that they'll be helpful, let me fly with them and take me on, though I can understand that there may be some reluctance to take me paragliding given my lungs' rubbish breathing abilities. I really hope they'll take me up ...

Crazy idea

During my latest admission, in an hypoxic state, I came up with a crazy idea. I often have crazy ideas when I'm oxygen deprived and they're usually dismissed fairly rapidly once I get enough O2 in my system again, but I have to say that I was rather taken with this most recent idea. I was thinking about my list of things I want to do, and most specifically about how I might raise some money for the ward as some kind of payback for the amazing care they give me and the number of times they've saved my life. I have decided that I would like to do a sponsored paraglide! I have to think carefully about how on earth I'm going to get up the hill/mountain/cliff in order to jump off it with that little bit of material attached to my back, but I'm hoping that some nice paragliding organisation/school will be able to help me with those kinds of logistics. I know from past adventurous ideas that I can't do a parachute jump because of lack of oxygen so high up and rapid changed of atmospheric pressure, so I had to check out with my consultant that a paraglide would be okay. Now I'm not supposing that he's much of a paragliding man himself (lol at the thought!), but I thought he might have an opinion. He did ... many ;oP but couldn't think of any 'clinical' reason why I shouldn't paraglide. Yay! So that is my crazy plan, which is terrifying my mother ;oP and I've today started investigating how I'm going to do this. How exciting!