A favourite quote and a way by which to approach life.

Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012


Oh dear, yet again I seem to be apologising for the lengthy gap between posts.  I truly am sorry.  Life has been busy lately, but things have now slowed down again for a while.

So one of the things that's limited my posting has been on-going problems with my left hand.  I've told you in previous posts how I had carpal tunnel syndrome surgery back in May, and how I've developed some complications post-surgery.  I'm still seeing the physio every week and things are improving a little bit, very very slowly, but no major positive change.  I've been doing the massage I have to do, and the exercises, but it's difficult to motivate myself to do this as it's painful and can instigate more on-going pain, tingling, and stiffness.  The physio says it's a matter of getting a balance of doing enough to stimulate healing, but not enough to aggravate things.  For the past 3 weeks I've had to wear a sling most of the time because my hand swelled up causing further pressure on the ulnar nerve and worsening symptoms.  I saw the surgeon again today who said that I should now use the sling as little as possible as the nerves all along the length of the arm need to be stimulated.  He said that it will hurt, but I should try to work through the pain as much as possible.  The physio then said that I should rest my hand in the sling intermittently and not work my hand so hard that the pain gets too much.

When things suddenly got worse with my hand three weeks ago I saw the physio as an emergency and she got one of the doctors to have a look.  The doctor then decided that I needed some nerve specific pain killers, but asked for my GP to prescribe the meds because of the complexity of prescribing for me around my allergies.  So I saw my GP and was prescribed gabapentin, which is actually an anti-convulsive medication, as are most nerve-specific pain meds.

At first, all was going okay with the gabapentin, but very quickly I was feeling nauseous most of the time.  My GP was reluctant to increase the dose whilst I was so nauseous and lacking in appetite, so I was waiting for those side effects to ease off before having the doc put the dose up.  However, once the nausea eventually began to settle I noticed that I was also feeling tearful and my mood generally was a little low.  I was becoming a bit hyper-sensitive and letting things get to me that usually wouldn't cause much more than a slight annoyance.  I read up a bit on gabapentin and found that depression can be a side effect, and as I know that I can't afford to go back down that route after such severe depression in previous times, I went back to the GP.  I saw her yesterday and she's switched me onto pregabalin.  I'm only on a low dose at the moment, and today the pain has been more bothersome (although that could be from the prodding and poking by the surgeon), but I have to have a phone consultation with the GP on Friday when they might increase the dose.

Whilst all this has been going on I've been trying to write stuff for my MA.  I managed to get my module submissions done on time, and even a few days early.  It wasn't easy doing it all with one hand, that's for sure.  Then, of course, I had a fair bit of work to do for my portfolio.  I had to get some done for my supervisor.  I had it in my head it that I had to get work to my supervisor by 14th for our meeting on 21st, but it turned out that our meeting was on 14th and I should have got work to her by 7th.  I only realised this on 12th, so of course, I didn't get it written on time or sent on time.  Thankfully my supervisor is very understanding and although she's not in Newcastle this week so can't meet up, she's going to do this supervision by email.  Thank you, V.

So then there's the car, or rather cars.  Somebody bumped into my current car, MacTavish, and smashed the wing mirror.  The whole thing was twisted sideways and the mirror was wobbling on its post.  Thankfully it was only the wing mirror that was damaged, but it was still extremely frustrating as whoever did it didn't leave a note with any contact details or insurance details.  I haven't been able to drive recently because of all the problems with my hand, so I don't know exactly when the damage to the car happened, but when I did notice then I contacted Motability Insurance.  They've been great.  They sorted out getting it fixed and had the mobile service sent out to me.  They came today and it's all mended, and I'm £75 worse off because of the excess :o(

There was a bit of a rush to get MacTavish mended because I'm getting my new car next week.  I'm actually going on holiday up into Northumberland at the weekend and will be away for a week, but the company I'm getting the new car from are bringing it up to me on holiday.  How great is that?!  I've still got rather mixed feelings about having to get this new car (which still needs a name), but I am getting excited now.  I'm focusing on the positives and know how liberating it's going to be to have a car I can get Taz into.

That's probably enough to be getting on with, but I will endeavour to post again very soon.  I promise.

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