Sometimes I want to write on my blog, but am too busy to give it the time it needs or I get distracted. Sometimes I need to write on my blog, but I get tangled up trying to work out how to write what I need to say instead of just sitting down and saying it. In recent months there has been so much to say that I've become overwhelmed by the enormity of it so have said nothing instead of everything. That makes for a redundant blog, which is not what I want. I want to write, and I want to write here. I want this place to be useful to others and to myself. The only way I can do that is to get to it and write, so please bear with me while I try to get back in gear.
I can't, at the moment, give a big update on all that I'd like, and it's probably best done in batches anyway. Right now I'm in hospital in Edinburgh, having come up to stay with Mum and J for Easter and it all going terribly wrong because I got a cold. I'm not in the best state of mind, feeling shocked and stunned at how ill I've been and how rapidly I deteriorated. I am overwhelmed by it, and kind of need to talk about it, but also don't quite know how to yet. I had only been out of hospital at home in Newcastle for two weeks and had come to Edinburgh for some recuperation. No chance of that with only one night at Mum's, so I began this fight for life with minimal reserves. Now I feel utterly depleted. Even the skin on the soles of my feet is exhausted, so while I try to get back to writing my blog as I want and need, please bear with me. It's near impossible to start a journey of a thousand miles even with a single step when it almost too much to think about putting your foot to the ground.