I have some friends whose youngest son is now head chorister at Durham Cathedral, and last night I went with them to hear him/the choir sing Faure's Requiem in a communion service for All Souls Day. It was lovely, and amazing as the choir had only been practicing for a week. It was lovely to have the requiem as part of the service, rather than just as a concert as is most usual these days, and it was a great opportunity to think about those people we've known and loved, but have died. There was an opportunity also to light a candle in memory of those who have died so I lit one for my friend Laura who killed herself in July.
Laura was a truly lovely person, highly intelligent and incredibly gifted musically. She had so much going for her, but was sadly unable to see the good in herself and had suffered from terrible depression for many years. She was someone who would go out on a limb for a friend - she would do anything she could for anyone - but tragically was unable to see that she too was worthy (and more worthy than many in the world) of all the love, support, help and good things that came her way ... although she was continually let down by the mental health services, which did nothing for her confidence or feelings of self-worth. Laura is greatly missed by many, and I don't think she would have believed you if you'd told her before she died about how many people would attend her funeral and memorial service; about how the Laura-shaped hole that's been left in the world is gaping and cannot be filled by anyone or anything else; or about how many tears have been shed by so many people all over the world for the loss of such a wonderful and amazing young woman.
I hope and pray that Laura is finally at peace. I prayed with all my heart for her in the cathedral yesterday evening, and although some (non-christians) may say it was in my imagination or is wishful thinking, I felt as though Laura had at last found her peace and was at rest. If only she could have found that peace here on Earth ...
Rest peacefully Laura.