A favourite quote and a way by which to approach life.

Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009


You may remember the incident of the holey watering can. There have been developments. A week or so before I went into hospital I had a letter from Victim Support offering me counselling for the trauma caused by the attempted theft of said holey watering can! Can you imagine my turning up to see a counsellor in distress at the event of which I knew nothing until it had been brought to my attention later in the day of its happening? I think I'd either be laughed at or carted away on the grounds of being far too sensitive for my own good. Now I know that Victim Support do a marvellous job, and I'm not belittling the work they do, but really, how can it be imagined that I'd be traumatised by the attempted theft of a watering can with holes in the bottom, and an attempt that I didn't know had even taken place until a while afterwards? It beggars belief. Needless to say, I'm not taking up their offer of counselling.
Last month it was my birthday, and aware of the attempted theft of the watering can, and aware of the uselessness of the worms in the wormery beside said watering can, my friend K got me a protector for the can. Meet Wilfred:

Don't you think he's rather fine? I have to say that I never, ever thought I'd be in possession of a garden gnome (or a guarding gnome ;oP ), but look, Wilfred even has his own little watering can! He clearly cares about the destiny of such things and would hate to see one come to a bad end, so here he is guarding the holey watering can that has caused such a stir:


Now it's good to know that the police are protecting us from the villains of the world, but it has seemed rather surreal that a significant amount of police time has been spent on the search for the watering can thief. I know that the real issue isn't the can, but the fact that the 'leader of the operation' coerced a minor into the illegal activities of trespass and theft/attempted theft ... and that is why police time has been taken up on this matter, but still, if you look at the smaller picture - that of the watering can - it seems very trivial. So anyway, when I came out of hospital I had a message on my answer machine from PC May, the enthusiastic trainee police officer who had been investigating my traumatic experience. He didn't say much in the message, but sounded quite excited. A day or so after I picked up the message I had another phone call from him asking if I'd heard of developments in the case, which of course I hadn't as I'd been otherwise engaged in relearning the art of breathing. Oh, he was excited! PC May went on to inform me that the man they had initially tracked down as responsible for the crime had given false details and gone missing, and it turned out that he'd been living not at the address that he'd given the police, but in various hostels. After a couple of weeks of having disappeared though, the man had walked into a police station and handed himself in - a villain with a conscience! Only not enough conscience to admit to the coersion of a minor as he then proceeded to insist that he had nothing to do with the child, had no responsibility for him, and certainly hadn't led him into a life of crime. Only then he crumbled and admitted he was guilty. And the consequence of this? The case of the attempted theft of the holey watering can is going to court!!!!! Oh my! I am going to feel so incredibly foolish if I have to stand up in court as a witness (which I'm assured by the police, without having asked, will be under the witness protection programme and I can give evidence via video-link if I want!). 'Yes, Your Honour, I am victim to the crime of the attempted theft of a holey watering can that I once grew rosemary in, hence the holes. No, Your Honour, I didn't see anything ... or hear anything, because I was tucked up in bed and fast asleep at the time, having taken a sleeping tablet the night before. I do have a box of worms, which my father gave me for Christmas, next to where said holey watering can was taken from, but they have not been forthcoming with information regarding events of the morning, nor with giving a description of the villain. Your Honour, there is no need to look distressed at the uselessness of the worms' observation skills as I now have a fine protector in Wilfred,' at which point I could hold up a photo of Wilfred. I could, of course take the real thing, but that would mean leaving the watering can unprotected so it's probably best that I just take a photo.

PC May was so excited at the prospect of this going to court. Aren't you glad that your taxes are being spent on the protection of my watering can? I can hear your cheers of support from here. How about giving Wilfred a cheer too? I'm sure he'd appreciate acknowledgement for the fine job he's now doing. After all, so far as I know, no crook has tried to steal the holey watering can since Wilfred took over its protection.


B said...

you made me laugh!
of course i should be working and not reading blogs. but hey.

also - i know what you mean about there being more serious crimes out there. but i'm all in favour of them getting people for the minor crimes, before they have a chance to think 'oooh i got away with that, the police are useless, i'll try a more serious crime!' and northumbria police have one of the best cleanup rates in the country - so - can you tell i'm biased? have i ever mentioned where i work??? :)

living_with_ba said...

Hahahaha! I can just see the court case now!

On a different note, it does annoy me that they've done all this for your holey watering can and yet, when Darla was attacked and bitten (enough to leave scars) by a dog that lives in the flats they used to live in (before they moved here, they still have that flat because until we get housed there's not enough room for all of their thiings here). The police came out and took pictures of her poor bleeding bum and followed up once or twice saying they could never get in touch with the people who owned the dog and then...nothing, everytime we phone to follow up (and this happened last September) they tell us the officer in charge is on holiday or out of the office or off duty and he will call back, but never does and the dog has never had any sort of punishment, B asked that they send it to behaviour classes not even have it destoryed, which she could have pushed for as Darla was three at the time and if she hadn't been in a nappy, which protected her bum a little, it could have been a lot worse.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant at you on that, it's not your fault..still, makes me laugh, they weren't even contacted by Victim Support!

Take Care

fizzycat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fizzycat said...

What can I say, hurrah for Wilfred.

rattles said...

hi becky

Im glad that they caught your watering can thief and are taking it to court-that will be funny :-)

Its a shame the police here did nothing when i had my drink spiked and subsequently was assaulted-i didnt get so much as a letter from victim support but thats by the by now and i do have a remarkable support network now!! :-)

Im glad your feeling a bit better and i hope your still taking things a little easier than normal! :-) im running a little slower than normal as im just out of the dreaded hospital myself after a rather scary experience! Im fine now just tired the post hospital fatigue etc but im all caught up with your goings on now and have a few more blogs to catch up on before doing another entry on my own lol! :-)

Hope to speak soon hon. Lotsa lv n hugs rattles Xx

BeckyG said...

B, I'm so glad I made you laugh, and no, you haven't ever mentioned where you work ... it's not a police station, is it??

Fizzycat, I have passed your cheers onto Wilfred. He didn't appear to react very much, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't done a little guarding gnome jig in the middle of the night when nobody's looking. Actually, come to think of it, although he's still next to the holey watering can, he isn't quite in the same place that I put him ... which makes me think that he has done a midnight jig in celebration of your appreciation of him :o)

Joey and Rattles, I'm so sorry that neither of your much, much more serious cases were investigated satisfactorally, not enough action was taken and you weren't given appropriate support. I don't know, maybe it's because a trainee was involved in the holey watering can investigation that he needed to be shown the whole process and wanted to cover all bases ... just a theory. It angers me though that not enough was done for either of you.

Rattles, I hope you're taking things very easy now that you're home. You've had a tough time of it and need to give yourself some time to recover. Rest up and do lots of nothing. I'm very glad that you're home though :o)