Couch potato

I have turned into a couch potato. Okay, it's through necessity, but it's frustrating. I want to be getting out and about, doing things ... I'm not sure what things ... just living. At least I should get to the medieval party tomorrow evening :o) which is a large part of my week or two of sofa surfing, although it is also because I'm still not doing a good job at breathing. Actually, I'm pretty certain that once the adrenaline of keeping myself going for tomorrow's party has disipated, I'll end up in hospital ... probably early next week :o( I'm not looking forward to it. Who would though? In a way it'll be a bit of a relief, because it's been (and continues to be) a struggle, but that fight, even the thought of it, is exhausting. I can hardly bear to think about it, and I don't want to, but I kind of have to, because I know it's coming and I have to gear myself for it. It's a strange thing knowing that you might die in a few days time. Of course I always hope that I'm going to get through, but it's been such a close call so many times, and there are no guarantees that I will survive. I don't give up though - I can't, because if I did then there'd be no reason to fight ... and life would be depressing the rest of the time. That doesn't stop it from being hard, and it's sometimes an effort to keep positive, especially as it's so relentless.

The positive thing about being forced to spend so much time sitting still is that I've actually caught up on my work again and I've written my first assignment for my new course :o) It's a short story about a family who receive a letter from their son who's serving in the armed forces. The only thing is that the day they get the letter is the day of his funeral after he's been killed in combat. It's all very sad, and wasn't easy to write or research. I had to do quite a lot of research to get some of the details right and to make it seem authentic, but although sad, it was interesting. I sent the finished piece off last night, so now I have the nervous wait for the result. I always think it must be difficult marking a piece of creative writing as it's so subjective, and I don't much like being on the receiving end of that subjectivity ;o)

Right then, off to do some more sofa surfing, looking forward to the medieval party tomorrow and trying not to spend too much time thinking about the battle that's most likely ahead of me sometime next week.