Anyway, I was going to write about Imposter Cat.
Zach (my cat) has been rather put out recently by the sudden appearance of Imposter Cat. I don't know where its home is, or which of my neighbours he owns, but a very long-haired, long-bodied, black ball of fluff of the feline variety has been coming in through Zach's cat flap. Imposter Cat has also been eating all of Zach's food, which has meant that Zach has become rather hungry, and also a little nervous when he's eating in case Imposter Cat comes in and tries to push him out of the way. This hasn't happened yet, but Zach looks like he's thinking this worry to himself.
I woke up in the middle of the night about a week ago almost convinced that someone was in the house. I know Zach's little padding footsteps, and the tappety-tap of his claws on the wooden floor, but the sound I heard didn't equate with what I know to be Zach's movements. After lying awake for a couple of minutes wondering what to do, I became aware of a very catty smell. Zach doesn't smell, so at first I wondered where he'd been or what he'd been up to to get to smelling like this (funny how this kind of thing can distract you from the thought that you might be being burgled or close to being murdered in your bed! ;oP ). Anyway, I turned over (I'd had my back to the door) and saw four yellow eyes shining back at me through the dark. This was something of a surprise, but also gave me answers to both of my queries. I wasn't being burgled. Zach hadn't been rolling around in smelly muck. I had an imposter of the feline variety, but it was in my bedroom! Imposter Cat was sitting in the middle of the bedroom, whilst Zach was standing at the door making strange 'get out of my house' yowls and hisses. I turned the bedside light on, at which point Imposter Cat got very scared and didn't know whether to look scared at me or scared at the cat. Actually, it looked so scaredy that I wanted to comfort it, but my movement towards him/her scared it silly and it risked rushing past Zach and made a sharp exit through the flat and through the cat flap, back into the wet outside world. Zach looked rather pleased with himself, if a little put out at Imposter Cat's intrusion onto his property.
Two mornings later, when I got up and walked into the living room, Imposter Cat was lying stretched out on the sofa in the living room, and was looking rather too comfortable for one in someone else's house into which they hadn't been invited. He stopped looking comfortable as soon as he saw me, and scurried as quickly as he could out through the kitchen and dashing through the cat flap. (As an aside, how come cats don't seem to get headaches from diving through cat flaps at great speed?).
As Imposter Cat is making such regular visits (and I've just heard him poke his nose through the cat flap as I type), and gobbling up Zach's food each time, I've had to move Zach's food dish into the hall - the furthest point from the cat flap before reaching my bedroom. This seems to have stopped it coming in so much through the day - when I'm in, at least. Who knows what cats do when they can't be seen by humans - but I have heard it creep in and then crunch noisily on the food in the bowl outside my bedroom door. And the give away that it's not Zach? He's usually asleep on the end of my bed. What cunning powers of deduction I have, don't you think?
So anyway, Zach's been rather upset by the whole thing, as I'm sure you can imagine with cat's being so terratorial. In fact he came sauntering in the other day, through the cat flap, through the kitchen and into the living, and he had that look on his face which says, 'I'm a cat and I need a new experience. What shall I do? I've tried tasting houmous. I've tried licking the bathroom radiator. What new experience would be good to try? I know, I'll pee on the wall.' That is exactly what he did - he made his way across the living room, giving over an air of 'I'm the king of this castle, just let me show you,' and promptly peed on the wall under the window! This is something he's never done before and I certainly hope it's not something he'll decide to do on a regular occurance. I'm so pleased this isn't an activity that we humans do to mark our territory. I'm much more in favour of putting up a fence around the garden and having a front door, than peeing on our property's perimeter.
I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do about Imposter Cat. At the moment I'm hoping that it'll just stop coming in and making Zach all nervy, but I'm not convinced that strategy is going to work. I may have to come up with a cunning plan.